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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Six feet from the edge...

...and for the last two days I have been thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down.

Tonsillitis struck me again on Wednesday morning. I woke with a scratchy throat and felt pretty lethargic. I gave myself a scare when I fell asleep on the lounge...lucky Danyelle was here and was looking after the kids for me. It was only for a little while, but I knew when I woke that something wasn't right...I don't do that. I knew what was coming so I fished my tonsillitis antibiotics out of the medicine cupboard and took one in an effort to head it off. By that evening I had a full-blown infection.

Thursday I was wishing I was dead, almost delerious from the pain, and nothing I took even touched the sides of it. Mark stayed home to take care of Danyelle and the kids for me, and I slept. I couldn't bear to be awake, so I slept...and slept...and slept. I did make myself eat some tea Thursday night though and then I crawled back into bed.

I slept until Friday lunchtime and begged Mark to call the ambulance for me. Don't even ask how that ended...it seems that you have to be a category 5 patient (eg. having a heart attack) to be treated with any care by some staff at our local hospital's emergency department. I wish Mum had've been at work...she was so disguisted with how I was treated when I told her...I was wheeled out into the waiting room and left sitting there in a wheelchair sobbing, and the rest of the story I am not going into here. Needless to say, I am going to be putting in a complaint, in writing. We'd been trying to get me in to see a doctor but no-one in this damn town was available, and my usuall antibiotics weren't working. So, the hospital was the last resort, as all of the doctors' surgeries in town tell you. Never again...I'll never go up there again as a patient unless I have Mum with me, and I should be treated with care whether she is there or not, but the difference in the care I receive when she IS there is amazing, and, it's disguisting that my Mum has to use her position to get better treatment for her daughter. Anyway (off my soapbox now), I decided to take my chances with the antibiotics I already had and made Mark take me home, feeling very belittled and humiliated and angry.

This brings me to today...after more sleep and more desperate self-medicating - and a last-minute appointment with a GP here yesterday afternoon to confirm that I was doing the right thing - I am finally feeling a little better. My self-esteem is still feeling very battered though, and I guess it will for a little while. But physically, I am still giddy and nauseous and sore and pus-laden (YUKKKK!!!! too much info, I know!!!!!), but less than I was at this time yesterday. And, I know I will improve over the next few days, so finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I would have been lost if it wasn't for Mark taking such good care of me...he's been the best...getting me tablets, making me drink, checking on me all the time, keeping the kids away so they didn't end up sick (sooooo hard on them and me!!!), and being a Mummy and a Daddy, and Auntie and an Uncle for the last few days. I am so proud of him. And my gorgeous Mum...she worries about me just as much now I am grown as she did when I was a little tike...that's what Mums do. I will be the same with my two. But she's just the best mother anyone could ever ask for, always there whenever I need her, always backing me up, there with a shoulder to cry on and a cuddle when I need. Thank you so much Mummy xoxoxoxoxoxo (I know you are reading this ;D)

I don't know why tonsillitis has to hit me so hard and fast, or why I've had so much trouble with serious bacterial infections over the last eight years, but I do know that stress plays a big part. But it doesn't have to be huge amounts of stress...I have been stressed about more serious things in the past and have not fallen ill. I think the big guy upstairs is trying to tell me to slow down and take stock of what I have before something really serious happens...like permanent damage to my body caused by septicaemia from one of these big tonsillitis infections...or even the dreaded "C" word. I feel like that is where I am headed if things don't change. And it's about time I listened. I don't want to feel like I am six feet from the edge again, and next time I might not be so lucky.

7 Comments:

Blogger jaki said...

Ouch! Sorry to hear you have been so low and in so much pain :(
Take care of you!!

Saturday, 08 July, 2006  
Blogger Alicia said...

OMG what a terrible time you've had. Hope you are feeling better soon. Take care.

Sunday, 09 July, 2006  
Blogger Lauren said...

Ohhhhh no, thats so horriable. I really hope that you are back on top of things soon.

Lauren x

Sunday, 09 July, 2006  
Blogger Steph Caskey Devlin said...

Karen OMG girl. Hope you are so much better now. The hospital situation was absolutely appauling.... Make sure when you are fully recovered you voice your opinions.....
Thinking of you.
Steph x

Sunday, 09 July, 2006  
Blogger Belinda said...

Karen you poor poor thing!
It sounds like you get tonsillitis in a similar way that i do.
Last time i got it, we were ona houseboat. I had to get my dad to pick me up from the middle of no-where, and take me to hospital. Not nice is it. I really feel for you.
Hope you are feeling better now, and you have every right to be angry about the hospital service..you go girl!! lol

Belinda
xx

Sunday, 09 July, 2006  
Blogger Yolande said...

CYBER HUGS karen. OMG on the treatment at hospital - thats just appauling! Hope you get better real soon and take your advise to listen to your body! I've since been through womanly stuff and coming out the other side makes you realise how bad things were before. Take care Karen... lots of rest and that TLC from your MUM sounds just what every girl needs... my Mum's the same!

Monday, 10 July, 2006  
Blogger Karen said...

Absoulutely Disgusting at the treatment you received from the hospital Karen, its not called upon and I do hope you voice your full opinion when you are better. No one should be treated like that.
NOW... I hope you have been resting up lots and hope your feeling lots better now! You poor thing!!
Thinking of you chicky!

Mwah
Karen
xox

Monday, 10 July, 2006  

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